October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, a topic we’re very connected to here at LUMO, with our roots in the coaching and support of working parents and mothers. 

We’re so lucky to have the incredible Jenn Andreou as part of our LUMO coaching team, and as part of her own loss and grief journey, she’s become a Grief Recovery Method Specialist in supporting parents dealing with grief. 

Jenn has generously offered to share some of her story, along with guidance on how to deal with it in your own life – or with those you love.

In 2005, Jenn experienced the devastating loss of her own child through stillbirth. She understands firsthand that although the physical relationship may not be present, the emotional impact of the relationship stays with you.   

In 2017 her coaching journey began, and at the beginning, she struggled with coaching parents.  While she carried with her the vision of becoming a parent and the loss of her child, she didn’t necessarily relate to the day-to-day juggle of parenthood.  

She grappled with Imposter Syndrome, but eventually came to see that her personal experience of loss made her capable of helping others through their own.  That even in the depths of darkness, recovery and healing are possible.  Today she helps countless parents through this important work.

Unfortunately, infertility and grief are often topics that are shied away from in conversations – but this doesn’t help anyone. To shift this, Jenn debunks the myths of common advice around grief, and offers insight on what actually helps someone grieving:

Myth 1: “Don’t feel bad” – suggests that feeling bad or sad is not an appropriate reaction to a loss. It’s essential to acknowledge and honor your feelings, including the sadness and grief that come with loss.

Myth 2: “Replace the loss” – may be heard in regards to having a second child after loss. Every relationship is irreplaceable, and it’s important to process the unique emotions associated with each loss.

Myth 3: “You should grieve alone” – As much as grief is an internal process, it is important to surround yourself with those who are there to support you. If you don’t have that support and need guidance, you can reach out to Jenn at jenn@lumoleadership.com. 

Myth 4: “Just keep busy” – While distractions may provide temporary relief, it’s crucial to take the time to reflect and feel the emotions that arise.

Myth 5: “Grieving just takes time”- Grief is a journey that doesn’t always have a clear ending. Take care of yourself throughout the process and give yourself permission to heal at your own pace.

Myth 6: “ You must be strong for others” – It’s okay to show vulnerability and allow others to support you during this difficult time.

Navigating grief is not a journey that anyone should face alone. If you or someone you know is going through this – whether as an individual or with a partner – remember that every relationship is unique, and it’s crucial to listen and hold space for one another.

Jenn reminds us that for those experiencing grief, it’s important to validate one’s own feelings and accept that it’s okay to feel sadness. Let go of any unnecessary guilt, as the loss you experienced was never intentional, and carrying that burden is not yours to bear.

• Blog article on Will Your Heart Ache Forever after pregnancy or Infant Loss https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/blog/2020/10/will-your-heart-ache-forever-after-pregnancy-or-infant-loss
• The Grief Recovery Method – Blog Article 17 Ways to Support Kids During Times of War https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/blog/2023/10/17-ways-support-kids-during-times-war
• Blog article on How to Help Someone Who is Heartbroken on Mother’s Day – https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/blog/2022/05/how-help-someone-who-heartbroken-on-mothers-day

• Jenn Andreou’s microsite on Grief Recovery Method Website – https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/grms/jenn-andreou

• More information can be found on springboardcoaching.org about Jenn and her offerings https://www.springboardcoaching.org/services-2

We’re so grateful to have leaders like Jenn lighting the way for how we collectively deal with grief and support others going through it, today and everyday.

Together, we can create a world where empathy, compassion, and understanding reign even in the face of unimaginable loss.

With deep gratitude and compassion,

LUMO