By: Luscious Mother
Dear Luscious Ones serving time in quarantine,
“Lush-ious” Anna here. Sarah handed over the reins over to me this week, and boy are our hands dry! How is everyone? Yesterday was the weirdest April Fool’s day of all. I, for one, felt like practical jokes could be left by the wayside since we happen to be living inside an impractical catastrophe. But some local joker created a social media news post that featured a picture of Maine Governor Janet Mills signing a decree that our students will have to repeat this entire year of school. It was VERY realistic. It made my heart stop. This particular creative soul should consider him or herself blessed to be in social isolation. I would like to lodge my LL Bean boot in one of their crevasses.
I’m finding myself to be a little… on edge these days. You?
I had a fight with my husband last night about misalignment in our parenting styles. When it comes to our son’s feelings, I think they deserve to be center stage with a spotlight. My husband thinks, overall, they deserve a more discreet supporting role, no solo dance numbers.
This is not a new conversation. What is new is this: a dull ache, almost a hollowness, humming underneath everything right now. It’s omnipresent, but quiet enough that if I’m busy “doing” it can get drowned out. For a time.
Arguing with Mike is no big thing in the Ordinary World. We fight fair. And not often. Our communication styles are well suited for productive verbal combat, and even in moments of conflict we are able to feel into the undercurrent of our love and appreciation to keep even the spiciest of spats on the rails. But now there is The Hum. The twinge underneath. The longing. The muddy water we’re trying to see through. Trying to pretend we can see clearly when it’s just impossible. Beneath it all our nervous system knows that something is rotten in the state of Denmark, no matter how desperately we try to convince ourselves that we are safe right here at home.
Normally, when my nervous system jangles and frets, sleep is my cleansing reset. I am gifted with the ability to sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow, and wake with a new perspective. In the past week I’ve noticed my dreams are a chaotic tangle of nonsensical anxiety stories. Not one long narrative from which I can tease meaning, or relay as an amusing story to Mike over our pillows. No. These dreams make up a wild and incongruous anthology of fear and chaos that I can find no discernible meaning inside of.
It’s because The Hum doesn’t sleep.
And so? I wake up with it weighing on my mind, and as a filmy bad taste in my mouth. Not unlike Madeline’s sweet guardian, Miss Clavel, I know that “something is not right.” Alas, I can’t throw on my nun’s habit and tear down the hall to see what imperils my young charges. I have to be with it. The Hum. I have to find a rhythm inside of it that I can sync with – like the sounds of late-night construction in the city. You know you can’t stop it, and being upset about it won’t bring sleep or ease. You have to find a groove inside the piercing sounds of the jack hammer and the back-up beeping of trucks. You have to say to yourself, this is happening. This is real. But it is not permanent. I can make a song out of this dissonance. I can do this weird dance. At some point The Hum and the late night jackhammer will cease, and there will be peace. You, me and Miss Clavel will all have a fabulous night’s sleep.
If you’re hearing the Hum, or the jackhammer, or whatever you’re calling it, we’re here for you. Just because you’re home alone doesn’t mean you have to be all alone. Not virtually at least! Starting April 3, and every Friday in April from 3:30-5pm EDT, we’ll be offering free community coaching calls for moms in our Luscious Zoom Room where you can come together and connect with other like-minded, like-hearted luscious mothers dealing with their own Corona bologna. Get real, get heard, get away from the other people living in your house. Want to know more? Know another mama who could use this life line? Tune in!
Find all the details in all the social media hotspots
We have new content and offerings every single day. Coming soon? A Luscious Mother Spotify playlist and an AH-MAZING meditation with Sarah to calm your heart. I feel like your heart will like that. I know mine did.
Reach out and let us know how you are. We’re way more interested in hearing about it than the peeps you’re quarantining with!
With love and lusciousness from 6 feet away,
Anna & Sarah
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