By: Luscious Mother
Are you ready to step into the spotlight, mama?
Hey there, Luscious.
This week we begin our newsletter journey by climbing into my “way back machine” where we find ourselves in Los Angeles in the year 2000.
INT. MIKE’S SWINGING BACHELOR PAD – SANTA MONICA – DAY
MIKE, handsome and bookish in his late 20s, listens attentively as his girlfriend ANNA, cute in that neurotic girl-next-door kind of way, recounts a bombastic tale of 20-something woe. Their relationship is new, but they have definitely already had sex.
…and then, I dropped my latte everywhere, spilling it on everyone, including a baby in a stroller, and when the camera pushed in for a closeup I could actually see the look of sheer horror and embarrassment on my own face, which only made me more embarrassed for myself. It was like the snake of embarrassment eating its own tail in an endless cycle of shame.
The camera? What camera?
The camera in my mind. For my inner movie.
You have an inner movie?
Yeah. “The Anna Movie.” Just like you have “The Mike Movie.”
I do not. I do not have “The Mike Movie.” How often do you see this… “movie?”
Constantly? It’s always playing on a screen on the back of my frontal lobe. Sometimes it’s just droning on the background, other times I’m more acutely aware of it, like with the latte. Do you really not have this?
No, I really really don’t.
This is at least in the ballpark of the actual conversation we had early on in our relationship. It was a great big turning point, for me at least. It must’ve scared the hell out of him. And yet, he stayed. #brave.
After this conversation, Mike and I began to affectionately refer to my weird delusional movie as “‘Me, Me, Me!’ Starring: Me!” Once we got married, we agreed to call it, “‘Us, Us, Us!’ Starring: Us!” in acknowledgement of our partnership, and we looked to expand our romantic buddy comedy into a light but meaningful ensemble series, adding a baby or two, while we continued our efforts to conquer the world of Adulthood; “Us, Us, Us!” the franchise!
But post-partum was a real genre changer for me. I was flooded with anxiety, self-doubt, and judgement. I gave up my job as a screenwriter to become a full-time mom, because I didn’t know how to do both, nor did I know how to get support. In doing so, I lost my entire identity. My world got very small, and while my movie was still playing in the theater of my mind, I had recast myself in a supporting role. Because that’s what I had come to believe motherhood was supposed to look like.
Working as a screenwriter in Hollywood, every protagonist I created was accompanied by a “dynamic character.” Unlike the antagonist, whose job it is to design obstacles and sow doubt, the dynamic character lives to inspire and educate our troubled and doubting hero—to help motivate her toward greatness.
But in real life, we all deserve a dynamic character to help us launch. To help us find our greatness. Even the dynamic character herself!
Okay, maybe you’ve guessed my thesis:
Mothers often take on supporting roles in their family. They are the charismatic, dynamic characters that drive others forward to greatness. Being a wife, a mother, and now a business partner, has taught me the importance of stepping back, letting others take the lead. Being the dynamic who helps others reach their goals, while also recognizing that I have the liberty and autonomy to simultaneously star in my own life. It can be a “both and” situation, but you have to claim it. I love cheering on my son, showing up for my husband, and watching Sarah slay, but I gotta tell you, the warmth of the spotlight feels good on my face, and nothing beats a standing ovation.
How’s your movie, mama? What genre are you living in? How’s your ensemble supporting cast? Are you ready to step back into the lead? Right now? You’re one casting choice away from being the star, and you’re the producer! You don’t have to be thinner, younger, richer, or prettier to star in your own life. The role is yours to lose, mama! You just have to take it.
Registration for Camp Can-A-Mama-Get-A-Minute closes on Sunday August 8, so if you’re ready for “‘You, You, You!’ Starring: You,” now’s the time. Our coaches are the ideal dynamic characters, and they will never steal your scene.
Step into frame, sister, hit your mark, and then as we say in The Biz: “Picture’s up, we’re rolling! Cue background, cue sound, and… ACTION!!”
Love & Lusciousness,
Anna & Sarah
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