The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth

By: LUMO Leaders

- Publish On: November 11, 2021

Hi All – Sarah here.

A few weeks back I called a very dear coaching colleague to check in and say hello. She answered the phone with a very curt, “What’s up?” To be clear, it’s not super unusual for this person to answer the phone in that way. In fact, she usually answers the phone just like that! But on this particular day, there was a tone. Me being me and never missing an opportunity to bust a chop, I answered in a joking way, “Wow, HEY! So GREAT to hear your voice too.” And then came the fun part. Not being one to mince words, my friend replied:

“Hey, I’m mad at you. You were just in NYC and you didn’t call me.”

My mind quickly started making sense of what was happening. I apologized immediately. “Hey, I am so sorry. You’re right. We did go to NYC for a few days for our anniversary and I didn’t reach out. I’m really sorry, it just got busy for us.” Which was 100% true. I love this person, AND, having lived in NYC for 10 years, Matt and I have a lot of competition for our time and energy when we go back for a visit. 

My friend and I went back and forth a few times. She threatened to come to Charlotte without calling. I protested and made jokes. After a bit, we finally felt reconnected and were back in sync. 

And you know what? I WAS INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL to her.

Why? Because my friend had the courage to tell me the truth. I didn’t have to sit there and wonder why she sounded funny, or wonder where I stood in our relationship. She saved me from all of that by being extremely clear, even if it was a little hard for me to hear. Researcher and leadership guru Dr. Brené Brown says, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” I couldn’t agree more. 

As a leader, or as a human being coexisting with our fellow humans, this kind of direct communication is a game changer. It creates trust like nothing else.

Where are YOU courageous in your communication and your relationships? In what spaces are you fully authentic? What difference does it make in your parenting and leadership? Where are anxiety and fear holding you up? What’s one small change you can make that moves you closer to courageous communication?

Yours in leadership & parenting,

Sarah and the LUMO Team

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